Who is Spider-Man?

 Normal version

   Spider-Man is a fictional Marvel Comics superhero. The character was created by writer-editor Stan Lee and writer-artist Steve Ditko. He first appeared in Amazing Fantasy #15 (Aug. 1962). Lee and Ditko conceived of the character as an orphan being raised by his Aunt May and Uncle Ben, and as a teenager, having to deal with the normal struggles of adolescence in addition to those of a costumed crime fighter. Spider-Man's creators gave him super strength and agility, the ability to cling to most surfaces, shoot spider-webs using devices of his own invention which he called "web-shooters", and react to danger quickly with his "spider-sense", enabling him to combat his foes.
When Spider-Man first appeared in the early 1960s, teenagers in superhero comic books were usually relegated to the role of sidekick to the protagonist. The Spider-Man series broke ground by featuring Peter Parker, a teenage high school student to whose "self-obsessions with rejection, inadequacy, and loneliness" young readers could relate. Unlike previous teen heroes such as James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes and Robin, Spider-Man did not benefit from being the protégé of any adult mentors like Captain America and Batman, and thus had to learn for himself that "with great power there must also come great responsibility" — a line included in a text box in the final panel of the first Spider-Man story, but later retroactively attributed to his guardian, the late Uncle Ben.
Marvel has featured Spider-Man in several comic book series, the first and longest-lasting of which is titled The Amazing Spider-Man. Over the years, the Peter Parker character has developed from shy, high school student to troubled but outgoing college student, to married high school teacher to, in the late 2000s, a single freelance photographer, his most typical adult role. He has even been a member of an unofficial splinter group of the Avengers, one of Marvel's flagship superhero teams. In the comics, Spider-Man is often referred to as "Spidey," "web-slinger," "wall-crawler," or "web-head."

Spider-Man is one of the most popular and commercially successful superheroes. As Marvel's flagship character and company mascot, he has appeared in many forms of media, including several animated and live-action television shows, syndicated newspaper comic strips, and a successful series of films starring actor Tobey Maguire as the "friendly neighborhood" hero in the first three movies. Andrew Garfield will take over the role of Peter Parker in a planned reboot of the films. Reeve Carney stars as Spider-Man in the 2010 Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider-Man

 

Funny version

   Spider-Man is a man, but also a little bit spider. His physical features are mainly human; however, he has the bizarre ability to create an icky-sticky web out of a white substance that nobody knows the name of. Spider-Man also has the ability to lay eggs: he does this throughout the day and they can hatch into little spiders that he can call upon at anytime. Sometimes when he's bored he throws his eggs at the homeless. This explains what the hell Peter Parker does with his free time and why we have so many spiders around ... and why the homeless are so pissed off. Though he is supposed to be a professional photographer, and carries a valid up-to-date international press card, very few of his photographs are ever printed or entered for awards, and the few that have been seen are out of focus, with people’s heads cut off. This is because Peter Parker is a shitty photographer. Maybe if he wasn't so busy shooting out his white stuff all over buildings, cars, people's faces, and Bald Eagles he could win a contest or two. Spider-Man is accepted by the Universal Superhero Classification Board of the Universe and Surrounding Universal Areas, Including Parallel Universes, Second Dimentions Etc (USCBUSCAIPUSDE) as the third Most Crapped About Superhero of all time, mostly thanks to his alter-egos Black 'ZOMG Can We DO That In A Film Aimed At The White American Market' Spiderman and Fat Spiderman.

Spidey with his son Arachnoboy.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Spider-Man